Not Me Monday

There's NO WAY that I'm thinking about establishing a new rule in our house that requires all men to sit to do #1. And this has nothing to do with the fact that I'm getting really grossed out by the mysterious puddles on the toilet seat in the middle of the nite.

I'm definately NOT really getting grumpy after a whole week of the croup in our house. I mean, it's NOT like I've spent the past few nites lying wide awake, listening to a barking seal for hours on end:)

There is NO WAY that my husband just now noticed that my hair has been thinning, after I've practically been going bald for about 9 months. Enough said.

I surely did NOT stand for a full five minutes in the candy aisle at Ride Aid yesterday, drooling all over my coat as I thought about all the yummy choices before me. And I certainly did NOT pick up the Twizzlers, put them back, pick them up, put them back....and repeat this sequence until finally I was able to tear myself away from them and head to the headache medicine aisle.

I absolutely did NOT toss my husband's tuct tape in the trash when he wasn't looking and then play innocent when he went hunting for it later. It's NOT like I'm nervous that he might put duct tape over that hole in his pants again or something.

I definately am NOT still sore all over after just ONE time on the eliptical machine last week. I mean, it's NOT like it's been over a year since I did any serious exercise.

There is NO WAY that Oprah is my new best friend after her interview this past week. And I certainly did NOT think about flying out to Chicago and hugging her personally for sharing her story, which was oddly a bit like mine.