Trusting

After recieving our update about Maia yesterday, we were feeling a bit confused and left with many questions and so few answers. Our update was actually not really related to Maia's special needs, but more about her developmental milestones. As we talked to several other adoptive families, many of our initial fears began subsiding as we realized that so many factors are likely affecting our update. The first factor is that we are unsure who wrote the update (a nanny versus a complete stranger), and this would surely have a significant effect on the information. The second factor is that Maia's physical needs (and multiple surgeries) may be having a huge effect on the other areas of her development, and this may in itself explain much. Also, we do know that Maia is very quiet and shy by nature, which also may affect how her behavior is being perceived. And finally, children often display behaviors in the orphanage that gradually disappear after they come home to their families. Putting all of these pieces together definately is helping us better understand and explain what may be happening with our Maia, although the truth is that we will never know for sure until the day (or long after) she's in our arms. This is something that still feels a bit scary, and yet, it's really the center of our journey! From the very beginning, we've been trusting that God led us to our Maia for a very special reason, and that we need to let our faith hold us up, even when we can't see all the details. I wish I could say this is always easy to do, but then I wouldn't be letting all of you see the reality of our journey!

So where do we go from here? We certainly are not naive about the possibilites of what our update holds, and yet, so much is up for interpretation. As much as we would love to have all the answers before us, we realize this might not be God's desire for us. This might keep us from being fully surrendered to HIM. This might stand in the way of letting our faith grow and blossom. This might prevent us from receiving the full blessing of understanding what it means to walk by faith alone. And, as much as WE want to KNOW, we're resting assured that HE knows. HE knows all the details about our Maia. He knows what is happening in her precious life, day by day, and He's protecting her, nurturing her, caring for her while we wait. How hard it is for us, her Mommy and Daddy to be so far away, to be trusting her care to someone else. And yet, we have to. And truthfully, what better place is ther for our Maia to be today than in His hands!

And so, once more, we're humbly surrendering her to Him. We do believe, with all of our hearts, that she is ours. We know that the amazing Christmas miracle that happened us just a few days ago was surely a sign that God is in control, that He is making a way for us to bring our Maia home, and that all He asks is that we continue trusting in Him.