An Answered Prayer

"For this child I prayed, and the Lord has granted me what I asked of Him."
Samuel 1:27

I can't even begin to describe how emotional the past two weeks have been for me. Wow.....I wonder if this is normal! Ever since we heard that our Letter was coming, I've been a bundle of nervous energy, running around in circles and feeling like I have caffeine buzz day and nite. Since I'm usually more of a slug by nature, this spurt of adrenaline is really making me feel like I'm having an out-of-body experience!

One of the strangest things is the way I melt into tears just thinking about traveling. In fact, I've cried in public twice in the past few days, which is really weird and a probably a little scary for the poor witnesses:) Funny thing is that I'm soooooo excited, and my tears of tears of pure joy! I guess I've been saving them up these past 28 months.........but who knew how much joy one body could express??

Last evening I was sitting on Maia's bedroom floor with Peanut tucking her socks into her suitcase, and I felt the tears coming all over again. I just really couldn't quite believe that these tiny little socks, tiny little sweaters, tiny little diapers, are for our Maia. I just kept pulling them back out, looking at them and imagining what it will be like to see Maia wearing them. Peanut was so dear, sitting there with me, trying to "help" me fold and refold each item over and over. He picked up the butterfly pajamas he had picked out for her a few months ago, and said "Mommy, Maia's gonna be so pretty in these." It was all I could do not to just start sobbing after that! How blessed I am to have these two amazing, beautiful children!

During the past few months, when the waiting was becoming almost too much to bear, so many people asked me "How do you do it?". Goodness, the truth is that I really don't know. The waiting for Maia has been absolutely heartwrenching at times, and, just before we received her referral last year, I was almost ready to give up hope. Truly, the only thing that kept me going during those darker days, was that still small voice that kept whispering the promise to me that our child indeed was out there waiting for us, too. There were certainly days when I felt that God forgotten about us and forgotten about His promise. There were days when my faith was so small and my fears so big that I wanted to walk away from my dream of becoming a Mommy again altogether. It seemed easier somehow to give up than to keep going.

But how thankful I am today that we didn't give up. That we didn't lose hope. That we rode out the valleys and climbed those mountains. When I think about the waiting, I know there were many purposes for it. I see some of them even now, although I'll save that for another post. But I'm so grateful that God gave us the strength to perservere, to run the race alllll the way to the finish line. Because what a sweet prize is waiting for us on the other side!! Every time I look into these beautiful almond eyes, I know that the journey was worth it. So worth it.