Boundaries, Part 1

God has really been speaking to me over the past few months about establishing some healthy and very, very important boundaries in my life with our littlest one. I had shared this a tiny bit in my posts before about grieving, but at that time, the idea of boundaries with our SuSu was only really a seed in my heart. I knew God was asking me to trust Him in this, and slowly I've been beginning to understand where He was leading me. He probably knew this adventure would be one I would resist and struggle with, and yet He hasn't given up on that seed He planted in my heart a few months ago.

I have to make a confession that discipline has never been my strongest suit as a Momma. I tend to cave in, let things slide and ease up on the rules far more than I should. As fate would have it, this weakness of mine came back to bite me in the butt when our littlest one joined our family last year. Because, up until then, I was only the Momma to one. One who happened to be easily disciplined, where just the mere threat of consequences was enough to turn our Peanut around.

Then came our SuSu. At first, parenting was as easy with her as it was with our Peanut. She was happy to go along with our requests and rarely disobeyed us. Hence, the honeymoon phase!

But in time, as every child eventually will do, she started pushing the limits and questioning our authority. At first, I let things slide a bit. I didn't take things nearly as seriouly as I should have. And I hesitated to set boundaries with her. I hesitated to discipline. And things continued to slide. And slide. And one day I suddenly woke up and realized that the boundaries and rules that had kept our family balanced and in check had all but disappeared. Being the Momma, I knew that it was my hesitation in stepping in that had led us down the path we were on. And I knew God was asking me to jump out of my comfort zone and set some difficult boundaries. Seeing how things were going, I was pretty open to hear what He was about to tell me.

As I was pouring my heart out to God about my frustrations, I sensed that He had some pretty significant changes in store, not only for my heart, but also for my life. He was asking me to set aside my fears, my insecurities, and to take on the role that He had called me to have as SuSu's Momma. She needed me. Desperately. She needed me to guide her, to teach her, to show her what being a part of a family was all about. She needed me to share with her the significance of healthy boundaries. But not only to share it with her, but to model it, too. And this is where I knew God would be doing a huge change in me.