The "One" Before "The One"

My post today is about a little boy whose smile has been in my heart and on my mind so much over the past 8 months. He was the "one" before "The One". His name is HuoungHuoung and he's probably just turned 2 years old. A few of you may know who he is, but many of you likely will be surprised to hear that he was almost our son. You see, we were given his file back in February 2008 and were so very close to saying "yes" to bringing him home. In fact, in my heart, I had already begun imagining him as ours.

We found HuoungHuoung on a waiting child list with another China agency and fell in love with him the moment we saw him. He was 18 months old at the time and had been diagnosed with cleft lip and palate. What caught my eyes the moment I saw him was the brightest, biggest smile on his face in every one of his pictures. He was absolutely the happiest little boy and I was smitten! But there were a few details that we couldn't overlook.

The first detail was that some of his labwork appeared to show that he had tested positive for Hep B, although the agency had not given us any indication of this. The second factor was that we had begun our adoption journey looking for a girl. Now, if any of you know me well, you know that I'm a pushover for little boys, so I was ready to make the jump to adopting a son. But M's desire, even before we met, was to have a little girl someday, and I wanted to honor him in our decision. What we decided was that we would pray for a week and visit with our pediatrician before going forward.

Toward the end of that loooong week, we sat down with the pediatrician and learned that, yes, HuoungHuoung did indeed have Hepatitis. I think M may have heard my heart drop when we heard those words. It was settled in that moment. We didn't feel comfortable accepting a referral for a child with Hepatitis, and we knew that this was our answer to adopting HuoungHuoung. It was a very quiet car ride home. My mind had already gone to those places a new mom's mind goes. After all those long months of waiting, I was so ready for us to become HuoungHoung's family. But I knew it wasn't all about me. It wasn't even a little bit about me. And, so, the next morning, I placed his file in the mail, and let go of who I was almost sure might have been "the one".

It was only a few short days later that "the call" came for us about our Maia!! God must have known my heart could only take so much!! And, when we saw her for the first time, there was a different sense of peace between us. We knew. We both knew. There she was!!

The funny thing is that I've never been able to forget the little one who almost became "the one". His smile pops into my mind so many times, and I wonder why I still wonder about him. I wonder why I can't forget. I wonder........

Someone once said to me that no one goes to adopt from China only once........

The voice of sanity in me would say "There's no way we could ever go back.....just think about the money, the paperwork, my health......"

But that still, small voice may be saying something else........

"No eye has seen , no ear has heard and no mind has imagined what God has prepared for those who love Him." I Corinthians 2:9

I still wonder about precious HuoungHuoung. I wonder if he was a seed God is planting in my heart for another little one one day. For now, all I can do is tuck these this little "seed" away in my heart and see if he grows........

P.S. This picture above isn't HuoungHuoung. I wasn't allowed to keep his pictures (of course, I've kept them in my mind!)