Taking That Step

As I look back over my blog, I realize that I haven't posted very much about the financial side of our adoption. Part of this is because, from the very beginning, it was so important to us to not make the finances a big focus of our journey. We still cringe when someone asks us "how much", unless the questions are coming from someone who is really considering adoption to grow their family. But the funny thing is that most of the money questions come from acquaintances or strangers, who we barely know!

All this aside, we truly don't know the total amount that we've put forward financially for our adoption adventures. Party because math was never my strong point. And partly because all our plans to finance our adoption have seemingly fallen through. Because, when we started our adoption, we had a "plan" for the amount we "thought" we would need. And then, the unexpected came along. And we changed agencies three times. And we changed countries twice. And we began to realize that our "plans" had left out something, or should I say Someone, very important......God. Woops. You know this is never a good idea!

When our financial means ran thin about a year ago, we found ourselves facing the reality that, if we were going to finish our adoption, it was going to happen only through Faith. A LOT of Faith.

We've never taken on something this big before, without any reasonable plan, leaning only on HIM.

And yet, we KNEW that HE was clearly calling us to take a step out on faith to bring our Maia home. And we were scared. Out of our minds. But we were willing.

And we were about to find out a whole new definition of faith. One that I thought I understood. But I didn't.

What I didn't realize about faith is that it actually doesn't involve MY plans. It actually has nothing to do with me at all. And oh, how hard that was for me to understand. Because I love to have a plan. I love to have control. And I'm terrified when I can't see what's coming.

I know that God is smiling right now as I'm writing this! Because He already knew that I needed THIS journey. Not so much to learn about adoption. But to learn about faith. And not to just learn about it. But to try to live it. And trust me, it hasn't been pretty.

But, after 29 LONG months, I've finally discovered that sometimes God chooses to bless us only AFTER we take a step of faith........He sometimes wants us to take the plunge BEFORE we can see how He's going to provide.........because only then is it truly our FAITH that's carrying us.

You would think that, after "practicing" this for almost three years, I would be getting good at this whole faith thing. You would think. But that good old human nature still plagues me. You know.....that one that creeps in and whispers doubts in my ear when nobody's looking.

But just when those doubts come creeping in, God has this amazing way of blessing the pants off me.......over and over again! Some of you may remember my post from December, when a couple gave us a gift of $2000 to cover some unexpected orphanage fees that we couldn't pay. WOW......what a HUGE experience that was for us!

As it turns out, God wasn't quite done with blessing us after that. Because, a few days ago, we were blessed by friends who gave us a check for an amount of money that just so happened to be the EXACT amount that we needed in cash to carry with us to China! Let me explain EXACT a little bit more.........We needed $1500 for expenses in China. We had zero $$. We recieved a check for $335 dollars one day, and found out the next day that our tax return this year would be in the amount of $1200!! I'll let you do the math!!

I know this post is long, and I might have lost a few of you by now! But I pray that, even it touches the heart of one person to take that step of faith, no matter what it may be, that it was worth sharing!

Because He has so much planned for each one of us. And He wants us to take that step of faith, even when we can't see the outcome. Because this is where I've found that this biggest blessings are. In those places I never saw coming!